Frustrations....

It's pretty common for someone working out to have frustrations with various things. Some of us complain about the gym hours, lack of machines open, free weights everywhere, old fat guys putting their bare ass on the bench in the dry sauna and things like that. I can, to a point, deal with all that. I feel like it's just part of the game. People suck in general and they suck even more when they are at a place they would rather not be. I'm not that way. I like the gym. I look forward to it. I love the smell, the sounds and the people watching.

I'm talking about personal frustrations. Those are the ones I struggle with. I feel like I have plateaued in some way. I eat well and honestly make really good food choices 98% of the time. There is the odd cheat meal and non-diet drink and I can live with that. Sanity food is what I like to call it. I'm not sure if I can pinpoint my frustrations. I hate the gut I'm still carrying although it's not nearly as big as it used to be. I hate the lack of definition in my arms and legs although I see the vascularity in my arms and can see some obvious muscle buldges in my thighs. I wish I could lift more weight in the gym although I have made excellent gains since I started. I guess I'm just frustrated overall.

I have a goal I was trying to reach but I really don't know if I will make it. I have 17 days as of today to reach that goal and I am what seems like 100,000 miles away. I'm currently sitting at 211lbs. My goal by January 9th was to hit 200lbs. We are leaving for a cruise and I wated to look the best I have ever looked in many many years. I wanted to walk on that deck proudly with my shirt off and not feel self conscious for once. I really have doubts that I can shed 11 pounds in 17 days. I know we see it all the time on Biggest Loser of double digit weight loss in 1 week but let's face it...those people are MORBIDLY obese. They are on the verge of their bodies saying "You know what buddy? I'm done with this, let's take a permanent nap." You got a lot to lose you lose a lot. I honestly didn't think I would reach this point for at least another 15lbs and I would understand at that point because I would be on the threshold of my "ideal" weight.

I take my suppliments, I eat clean, I work my ass off in the gym....or do I? Am I short changing myself? Am I really not pushing myself as hard as I could? I walk out sweaty, tired and a battered shell of my earler self. Is that enough? I really don't know. I have been on the same workout routine for about 4-5 months now and this week I decided to switch things up. that's what I hear all the other Brolys say. My previous workout was as follows:

Monday- Chest
Tuesday-Shoulders
Wednesday-Legs
Thursday-Back
Friday-Arms
Sunday-Circuit

Hmmmmm, that's 6 days a week on average. Is it possible I'm overtraining? Not giving my body enough time to recover? A quick Google search says the following about overtraining:

"Overtraining is the result of giving your body more work or stress than it can handle. Overtraining occurs when a person experiences stress and physical trauma from exercise faster than their body can repair the damage"

"...excessive exercise may lead to overtraining, but don't forget to consider other stresses, such as family or work commitments."

"Remember, stress is stress, whether it's a physical, mental or emotional stress, it still has the same effect on your health and well-being."

I don't have many of the physical signs of overtraining but let's look at the psychological signs and symptoms:


Fatigued, tired, drained, lack of energy
Reduced ability to concentrate
Apathy or no motivation
Irritability
Anxiety
Depression
Headaches
Insomnia
Inability to relax
Twitchy, fidgety or jittery

The ones in bold describe me to a T. But what throws me are the physical signs:

Elevated resting pulse / heart rate
Frequent minor infections
Increased susceptibility to colds and flu's
Increases in minor injuries
Chronic muscle soreness or joint pain
Exhaustion
Lethargy
Weight loss
Appetite loss
Insatiable thirst or dehydration
Intolerance to exercise
Decreased performance
Delayed recovery from exercise

I don't have near as many. Now I'll be honest...I can be lazy but in all seriousness this is exactly how I feel. Everytime I walk in the gym I have the mindset that I'm gonna bust my ass and make the workout count. I may be doing myself a disservice. I recently took some time off from the gym for about a week. It felt good. Stress levels dropped, I didn't feel rushed and I enjoyed the gym time not hanging over my head every day. At the same time I felt like I was doing something very wrong by not going. What the hell is wrong with me? I like the time off the gym but I mentally feel like crap for not going. It felt like I "no call, no showed" for work.

I'm so confused and feel like a writer with mental block, a director with no direction or a stripper who can't seem to take her clothes off. Either way I will continure pounding away as always and doing what I can to keep things up.

At this point I have no choice because I won't go back to what I used to look like.

Current weight: 211lbs