Friday, December 2, 2011

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

     It's been 30 years since I last wrote you a letter.  Back then I asked for stuff for Christmas that pertained to a 5 year old.  At the time Atari was the game system to have, small color televisions were popular and Tonka trucks were still made of metal instead of the plastic they are now.  I wrote you then because I believed in you as most that age would.  I grew up and realized the truth:  There is no Santa Clause.  It was only my parents and family keeping the spirit of the holiday alive and  to give me something to look forward to and create excitement.  For them, I think, that was half the fun.  They enjoyed the gratification of making me behave by instilling the fear in me that you wouldn't visit.  I was obedient, did what I was supposed to because i was deathly afraid of not getting the things I wanted.  It worked and I got everything I wanted.  When I got older and realized what the truth was I can't say I didn't know already when I was told you didn't exist.  Part of me wanted to still believe.  Part of me wanted to still have that excitement for Christmas other than eating and gift exchange.

     Well, Santa, 30 years has passed since then and I'm approaching my 36th birthday.  The reason for my letter after such a long delay is simple.  I'm not asking for gifts, not asking for the latest gadget or electronic nerd thing.  In fact I'm not asking for me at all.  I have everything I need and then some.  What I'm asking for would probably be better taken care of after you've finished delivering presents because it can't be put in your bottomless red bag.  There are a few people in my life right now that need a little slice of the good cheer you tend to hand out along with the gifts.  They could also use a box full of reassurance that everything will be better in the future.  Most importantly they need some inner peace and comfort.  These are gifts I can't give them no matter how hard I try.   For these special and infinitely important people in my life this time of year has always held a special place for them.  It was a time for them that had its rituals and created indelible memories of happy times.  This year is different than any previous year.  There is an empty seat at the dinner table this year.  This empty seat has caused a lot of stress, frustration, heartache, anger, resentment and all the emotions that no one wants to feel this time of year.  For me Christmas stopped being incredibly important a long time ago but for these irreplaceable people it has always meant so much more.  So, Santa, I'm asking for you to help me try and make this Christmas sneak by without a lot of fanfare and slide 2012 gently under the door. Help me give these people I love these small gifts so we can wake up January 1, 2012 with a renewed outlook and a t least a small sense of comfort that the new year will be better than this one.  

     I've always been able to keep things light-hearted and fun and kept everyone smiling.  This year I'm having a hard time doing this and frankly I'm burnt at both ends so I'm reaching out to you in my adulthood with the hope that this letter makes it to the North Pole and one of your Elves reads it and points it out to you personally.  I know this is one of hundreds of millions you will get but I still have hope you will see it and be able to fulfill my gift request.  I'm not exactly sure where I will be this year when December 24th rolls around so I hope you can find me.  I'm sure you will, you always did before.


Oh yea, by the way, I don't use the same name I did back then cause I'm all grown up now so I'll help you remember me.  I hope you and the Missus are doing well.  Don't work too hard and try and eat some veggies now and then.  We have an obesity epidemic right now.

Take care, Santa.  See you soon.

-Tommy

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