Dear Santa,
It's been 30 years since I last wrote you a letter. Back then I asked for stuff for Christmas that pertained to a 5 year old. At the time Atari was the game system to have, small color televisions were popular and Tonka trucks were still made of metal instead of the plastic they are now. I wrote you then because I believed in you as most that age would. I grew up and realized the truth: There is no Santa Clause. It was only my parents and family keeping the spirit of the holiday alive and to give me something to look forward to and create excitement. For them, I think, that was half the fun. They enjoyed the gratification of making me behave by instilling the fear in me that you wouldn't visit. I was obedient, did what I was supposed to because i was deathly afraid of not getting the things I wanted. It worked and I got everything I wanted. When I got older and realized what the truth was I can't say I didn't know already when I was told you didn't exist. Part of me wanted to still believe. Part of me wanted to still have that excitement for Christmas other than eating and gift exchange.
Well, Santa, 30 years has passed since then and I'm approaching my 36th birthday. The reason for my letter after such a long delay is simple. I'm not asking for gifts, not asking for the latest gadget or electronic nerd thing. In fact I'm not asking for me at all. I have everything I need and then some. What I'm asking for would probably be better taken care of after you've finished delivering presents because it can't be put in your bottomless red bag. There are a few people in my life right now that need a little slice of the good cheer you tend to hand out along with the gifts. They could also use a box full of reassurance that everything will be better in the future. Most importantly they need some inner peace and comfort. These are gifts I can't give them no matter how hard I try. For these special and infinitely important people in my life this time of year has always held a special place for them. It was a time for them that had its rituals and created indelible memories of happy times. This year is different than any previous year. There is an empty seat at the dinner table this year. This empty seat has caused a lot of stress, frustration, heartache, anger, resentment and all the emotions that no one wants to feel this time of year. For me Christmas stopped being incredibly important a long time ago but for these irreplaceable people it has always meant so much more. So, Santa, I'm asking for you to help me try and make this Christmas sneak by without a lot of fanfare and slide 2012 gently under the door. Help me give these people I love these small gifts so we can wake up January 1, 2012 with a renewed outlook and a t least a small sense of comfort that the new year will be better than this one.
I've always been able to keep things light-hearted and fun and kept everyone smiling. This year I'm having a hard time doing this and frankly I'm burnt at both ends so I'm reaching out to you in my adulthood with the hope that this letter makes it to the North Pole and one of your Elves reads it and points it out to you personally. I know this is one of hundreds of millions you will get but I still have hope you will see it and be able to fulfill my gift request. I'm not exactly sure where I will be this year when December 24th rolls around so I hope you can find me. I'm sure you will, you always did before.
Oh yea, by the way, I don't use the same name I did back then cause I'm all grown up now so I'll help you remember me. I hope you and the Missus are doing well. Don't work too hard and try and eat some veggies now and then. We have an obesity epidemic right now.
Take care, Santa. See you soon.
-Tommy
Friday, December 2, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
My Best Friend
Yea, yea I know it’s been a while since I put anything worthwhile down on “paper” but I’ve started to have the mindset that when I say something in this blog or on Facebook I wanted to be pee-your-pants funny or I want it to be insightful or just be my own little “FTW’ moments. I guess this entry we can file under insightful.
It has been almost 3 years since Melissa and I met and every day has been a blessing for me. Those of you who know me know damn well I don’t use the word “blessing” very often, if at all, due to my controversial views on religion…..but that’s another blog entry that will probably never see the light. Anywho…after all this time together and us being husband and wife I have grown a new appreciation for the term “Best Friend”. Typically when one says this they are referring to someone of the same gender. “My Bro”, “My Homie”, “Muh Dawg” but I can’t use these terms to accurately describe what she is to me, beyond wife and soul mate, than “Best Friend”. I know it’s a term used often and with little regard to its meaning and tossed around to whoever is most convenient and visits often. I happen to be lucky enough to have a live-in best friend and it’s wonderful. The best part…..she’s female and we are married. BROWN CHICKEN BROWN COW YA’LL!!!
I will attest to the fact right here and now that I have not had ANYONE, and I mean A..NY…ONE, whom I could call “Best Friend” in my entire life save one person I grew up with . He’s in the Military and I have no idea where he is. We haven’t seen each other in well over 10 years. I have had other guy friends who have filled the temporary position of “Best Friend” but again it was never the bond that I feel with Melissa and this bond that goes beyond the vows of our marriage.
Dictionary.com has an interesting definition for the term:
Main Entry: best friend
Part of Speech: n
Ok…what the hell is boon companion???
| Main Entry: | boon companion |
| Part of Speech: | n |
| Definition: | a very close friend |
| Example: | She is inseparable from her boon companion of 20years. |
| Etymology: | 1566; literally, 'good fellow' |
Well I’ll be damned. The term for “Best Friend” goes back 210 years before the birth of our country and what’s more, the Italians had it right the whole time with the term “Good Fellow”. It was someone they trusted with their life. Someone they knew would have their back no matter what happened or what was said, someone who would walk through the fire shoulder to shoulder with them. They also knew the dirtiest of secrets. I know Melissa’s and she knows mine. We have weird quirks we don’t tell anyone about but if asked we have nothing to hide. We also don’t hide anything from each other and, God forbid something happen and we are no longer together, you will NEVER hear me utter one single solitary bad thing about her as a person or what she was as a wife. See how this works? She’s my best friend, my Queen and the center of my universe. She has earned this illustrious title NOT through attrition as my wife but because she exudes all the attributes of wearing the badge of my “BFF”.
Everyone should have a best friend, BFF, “bestie” or something similar. Do you? Look around at your circle of friends. Go ahead I’ll give you a few minutes to flip through your Facebook list. Do you have someone in that list that you can say you are best friends with? Maybe you do…maybe you think you do? It’s something in life we should constantly evaluate. Family is one thing. They will always be there no matter what, but friendship is different. It is an unmistakable and undeniable bond that forms between two people who come from different cultures, backgrounds, ethnicities and belief systems. Is that not an absolutely incredible thing to have happen? It’s like fucking magic. Sociologists say that really close friends, whether they be same sex or opposite sex, will be as close as two people can be without becoming intimate with each other. THAT is how close good friends are. THAT is what the term “best friends” really means.
“Bro, you know all my bullshit secrets and you pulled me off that Tijuana whore before I got married…then we found out she had 2 vaginas and we kicked ourselves….but anyway…. I love you, man. I’ll never fuck you in the ass or open mouth kiss you but I love you, dude.”
NO HOMO
I wrote this not because I was bored or hadn’t said anything in a long time, but because as I have grown as a person over these last few years I have come to appreciate what it is to truly have a best friend. Do you have one? Are you one? If you aren’t or don’t then why not? It never hurts to take a look at YOU and see what qualities you bring to the proverbial bargaining table to be someone’s best friend. I have a best friend….her name is Melissa Simmons. I couldn’t be more proud.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
I wish I could tell you...
I wish I could tell you exactly what kind of birthday weekend my wife just had.
She turned 30 this year and has been sort of dreading it. I guess because hitting 3 decades of existence it makes us all realize we aren't kids anymore. We have left behind our 20's in a blaze of glory and never to be spoken about again. There are exceptions of course. We all recount our first legally drunken night, being excited about an insurance drop when hitting 25-ish and then the dreaded walk to 30's front door. I wish I could tell you I enjoyed my 20's. I guess in some ways I did but I don't remember many. Regardless, this past weekend was about closing the door on Melissa's 20's and opening the door to her 30's. Me being the person I am wanted to do something different and special and make the weekend enjoyable.
It all started about 3 months ago or so when I got a Facebook message from her 2 best friends Laurie and Liise. Both live in Arizona and both are two of the most incredible people I have ever met. More on that later. They had a drunken night idea to jump on a plane and surprise Melissa for the weekend. I agreed, without hesitation, to orchestrate a 3 month trek to make this happen on my end. It would involve scheming and being treacherous and deviant and sneaky all for a good cause...........FUN!!!!
I wish I could tell you the plan was executed with "Mission Impossible" precision. I wish I could tell you that my original plan to have them waiting when Melissa got home went down without fail.
My beautiful wife who is as innocent as she is sexy found out that they were coming. She kept her silence until the night before and then sprung it on me. So the tables were now going to be turned on her dear unsuspecting friends. But beyond that it was my job to keep up the bed of lies I had been sleeping in for so long. I had to continue to convince Laverne and Shirley that Squiggy had no idea they were coming. The drive home from the airport from picking them up was pure torture. I wish I could tell you it was easy lying to 2 people I have only met once.
So now the plan was laid, destroyed, rebuilt and sprung. Laurie and Liise walked in to Melissa hiding in the dark kitchen and she jumped out like a stripper from a cake. Laure wet herself. The rest of the weekend was a blur of sorts. I cooked, we drank, we laughed, we played guitar hero and we all cried a little.
I wish I could tell you what kind of friendship I witnessed, but I can't. It's beyond words. I sat back and watched 3 friends who initially came together due to life changing circumstances and bonded like hydrogen and oxygen. Planetary alignment couldn't be a more perfect analogy. The come from different backgrounds, have different life goals, act completely different from each other but they all share a common bond that must be witnessed to be explained and even then words would escape the most linguistically talented. It's so hard to describe that it's making this part of the blog difficult to write. All I can tell you is that they love each other like sisters. Sisters who don't have to be in constant contact with each other or even talk every month and then when they get together it's like they were never more than a day apart. Simply amazing and, in my opinion, a rare thing.
I could not have been more pleased to have them in our house and I have never taken more pleasure in cooking for someone as I did over this weekend. I was a cooking machine and my only goal was to make sure that these 3 ladies wanted for nothing and did not have to lift a finger for anything. I was happy to lay down as their servant and make sure their every whim was taken care of with pride. My pleasure was from them being pleased and having a good time. I wanted Melissa to have a 30th birthday she wouldn't forget and I'm pretty sure it was mission accomplished.
There was so much more that happened and I wish I could tell you.....
She turned 30 this year and has been sort of dreading it. I guess because hitting 3 decades of existence it makes us all realize we aren't kids anymore. We have left behind our 20's in a blaze of glory and never to be spoken about again. There are exceptions of course. We all recount our first legally drunken night, being excited about an insurance drop when hitting 25-ish and then the dreaded walk to 30's front door. I wish I could tell you I enjoyed my 20's. I guess in some ways I did but I don't remember many. Regardless, this past weekend was about closing the door on Melissa's 20's and opening the door to her 30's. Me being the person I am wanted to do something different and special and make the weekend enjoyable.
It all started about 3 months ago or so when I got a Facebook message from her 2 best friends Laurie and Liise. Both live in Arizona and both are two of the most incredible people I have ever met. More on that later. They had a drunken night idea to jump on a plane and surprise Melissa for the weekend. I agreed, without hesitation, to orchestrate a 3 month trek to make this happen on my end. It would involve scheming and being treacherous and deviant and sneaky all for a good cause...........FUN!!!!
I wish I could tell you the plan was executed with "Mission Impossible" precision. I wish I could tell you that my original plan to have them waiting when Melissa got home went down without fail.
My beautiful wife who is as innocent as she is sexy found out that they were coming. She kept her silence until the night before and then sprung it on me. So the tables were now going to be turned on her dear unsuspecting friends. But beyond that it was my job to keep up the bed of lies I had been sleeping in for so long. I had to continue to convince Laverne and Shirley that Squiggy had no idea they were coming. The drive home from the airport from picking them up was pure torture. I wish I could tell you it was easy lying to 2 people I have only met once.
So now the plan was laid, destroyed, rebuilt and sprung. Laurie and Liise walked in to Melissa hiding in the dark kitchen and she jumped out like a stripper from a cake. Laure wet herself. The rest of the weekend was a blur of sorts. I cooked, we drank, we laughed, we played guitar hero and we all cried a little.
I wish I could tell you what kind of friendship I witnessed, but I can't. It's beyond words. I sat back and watched 3 friends who initially came together due to life changing circumstances and bonded like hydrogen and oxygen. Planetary alignment couldn't be a more perfect analogy. The come from different backgrounds, have different life goals, act completely different from each other but they all share a common bond that must be witnessed to be explained and even then words would escape the most linguistically talented. It's so hard to describe that it's making this part of the blog difficult to write. All I can tell you is that they love each other like sisters. Sisters who don't have to be in constant contact with each other or even talk every month and then when they get together it's like they were never more than a day apart. Simply amazing and, in my opinion, a rare thing.
I could not have been more pleased to have them in our house and I have never taken more pleasure in cooking for someone as I did over this weekend. I was a cooking machine and my only goal was to make sure that these 3 ladies wanted for nothing and did not have to lift a finger for anything. I was happy to lay down as their servant and make sure their every whim was taken care of with pride. My pleasure was from them being pleased and having a good time. I wanted Melissa to have a 30th birthday she wouldn't forget and I'm pretty sure it was mission accomplished.
There was so much more that happened and I wish I could tell you.....
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
The end of the year is upon us....a little 4th+ quarter update.
It has been some time since I've posted something in this blog. Not sure why...maybe apathy, laziness or just a blah attitude to putting anything down for anyone else to read. I have a habit of sharing my daily routine with my wonderful Wife and she patiently listens to my nerdy ramblings.
Speaking of nerdy stuff, I'm no longer in the Conference Center. I took a new job in the same hospital as a Technical Analyst in the IT&S department. I went from a private office on the 2nd floor of a relatively new tower to a cube in the basement devoid of any natural light. I am constantly surrounded by screens, computers, laptops and various gadgets and tech stuff that keeps me content and my mind constantly occupied. This is a VERY good thing. I basically sit in my cube and work trouble tickets that come in from various departments around the hospital. One thing that has become more clear to me than anything since I've been in IT is that the general populous of clinicians and clinical managers are fucking stupid. At least here they are. And when I say stupid I mean they know NOTHING beyond what is right in front of them. On top of all that they are all in an ass-kissing contest with our still-new CEO. It's disgusting but at least I don't have to subject myself directly to their world. I go in, do what I have to and then I'm gone. Most of my stuff can be done remotely as well.....BONUS. On top of that I can still listen to music and chat with Melissa....BONUS..BONUS!!!
I did start school this semester. It didn't go as well as I expected and pretty much bombed. I suck at math and couple that with starting a new position....well let's just say I had a meltdown and the semester is/was a bust. There is always next semester and I'm in no hurry to finish.
As I have immersed myself deeper into the IT world I realize that I should have worked harder to stay in it before. I went to culinary school and took a huge detour and learned some skills that will definitely benefit everyone around me. Was it worth the cost.....that is still to be decided. Am I much happier now...definitely. More-so in my new job than before. When I leave work I leave work at work. I don't get the random calls on Saturday mornings because the stupid breast feeding instructor can't learn how to turn shit on or calls from my Director telling me about her current ailment and why she can't come in to work. The only time I'll have to take a call after work is when my name falls in the on-call rotation. Then I'll actually be getting PAID for answering that call and for potentially having to go in to help someone.
I'm looking forward to 2011. I'm looking forward to spending another year with the woman I love more than myself and seeing what happens. We always have something planned or a goal we want to achieve. We have been thinking about a rent house after this lease is up, have a few other things planned for next year but beyond that I couldn't tell you. We tend to be spontaneous and I love that about us.
That's all I have. I hope those of you who read this (if anyone) have a Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year. Spend these last days of 2010 with those you love and who love you equally. Too often we cherish the tangible and take the intangible for granted. I'll be around.....
Speaking of nerdy stuff, I'm no longer in the Conference Center. I took a new job in the same hospital as a Technical Analyst in the IT&S department. I went from a private office on the 2nd floor of a relatively new tower to a cube in the basement devoid of any natural light. I am constantly surrounded by screens, computers, laptops and various gadgets and tech stuff that keeps me content and my mind constantly occupied. This is a VERY good thing. I basically sit in my cube and work trouble tickets that come in from various departments around the hospital. One thing that has become more clear to me than anything since I've been in IT is that the general populous of clinicians and clinical managers are fucking stupid. At least here they are. And when I say stupid I mean they know NOTHING beyond what is right in front of them. On top of all that they are all in an ass-kissing contest with our still-new CEO. It's disgusting but at least I don't have to subject myself directly to their world. I go in, do what I have to and then I'm gone. Most of my stuff can be done remotely as well.....BONUS. On top of that I can still listen to music and chat with Melissa....BONUS..BONUS!!!
I did start school this semester. It didn't go as well as I expected and pretty much bombed. I suck at math and couple that with starting a new position....well let's just say I had a meltdown and the semester is/was a bust. There is always next semester and I'm in no hurry to finish.
As I have immersed myself deeper into the IT world I realize that I should have worked harder to stay in it before. I went to culinary school and took a huge detour and learned some skills that will definitely benefit everyone around me. Was it worth the cost.....that is still to be decided. Am I much happier now...definitely. More-so in my new job than before. When I leave work I leave work at work. I don't get the random calls on Saturday mornings because the stupid breast feeding instructor can't learn how to turn shit on or calls from my Director telling me about her current ailment and why she can't come in to work. The only time I'll have to take a call after work is when my name falls in the on-call rotation. Then I'll actually be getting PAID for answering that call and for potentially having to go in to help someone.
I'm looking forward to 2011. I'm looking forward to spending another year with the woman I love more than myself and seeing what happens. We always have something planned or a goal we want to achieve. We have been thinking about a rent house after this lease is up, have a few other things planned for next year but beyond that I couldn't tell you. We tend to be spontaneous and I love that about us.
That's all I have. I hope those of you who read this (if anyone) have a Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year. Spend these last days of 2010 with those you love and who love you equally. Too often we cherish the tangible and take the intangible for granted. I'll be around.....
Friday, July 2, 2010
So a little update...
Just wanted to drop a quick update to let everyone know that things are going exactly as planned. I have had a couple of really good runs and yesterday I hit a new personal distance record by going 4.57 miles in just over an hour. Not bad for a fatty who never put much stock into running and laughed out loud at the running fools I used to see around the neighborhood.
Also I have enlisted the help of technology once again. I started using the Nike+ system with my iPod. I am amazed at the information this thing gathers. Time, distance, pace, calories and best of all.....it tracks your overall progress. Info is synced with iTunes and then uploaded to the Nike+ site. You can put goals for yourself and it keeps pace of those goals. Really cool stuff:
Pretty damn nifty. Unfortunately I can't add the miles I have already gone cause this is more "real-time". As of right now I have completed about 18 miles give or take. Still a long way to go but I have time and I have a feeling I will crush my goal.
Stay tuned....
Thursday, June 24, 2010
The journey of 1000 miles begins with one step
Yea, yea...OK that title was thuper ghey but I just couldn't think of anything else to title this blog post. It does, however, have a great deal to do with the goal I have set out for myself for this summer. We are planning a vacation in September where the beaches are vast, alcohol is flowing and clothes are limited. So here we go...
Everyone seems to have a goal for the summer and for some reason I had a hard time finding one for myself. I'm within about 20 or so pounds of my overall weight goal so I needed something to challenge myself. I love a challenge and I love learning something new. Before I begin explaining the torture I plan on putting myself through I need to take a moment and recognize a couple of people.
First, my lovely and beautiful wife. She has set out for herself a monthly goal for weight loss and I firmly believe she will accomplish it. I have the utmost faith in her and her abilities and her tenacity is one of her many endearing qualities which I love.
Second, my Dad. Christ on a cracker this man never ceases to amaze me. 61 years old and about 8 weeks ago he put down the cigarettes. After 10 years of smoking he just dropped them. No question, no self bargaining to slow down. He just quit. Now he has a goal to lose about 20lbs by the time our September vacay rolls around.
This brings me to my goal for the summer. I thought long and hard about what I wanted to push myself to do and then it hit me yesterday during my workout:
I VOW TO RUN/WALK AT LEAST 150 MILES BETWEEN NOW AND THE TIME SEPTEMBER 23RD ROLLS AROUND.
Whoa....whoa....wait...wait...wait...you must be asking yourself "When did Thomas start running?" I have been attempting to increase my running capabilities pretty steady-like over the last few weeks. I have a trail mapped out thanks to a biking/running trail built by the city:
You can kinda see my route in red but if you can't just know that it is long and hard like 3rd grade for a bl....never-mind. Bear in mind that I am still running at the same time of day I was working out in the gym which is around 4pm. I'm in Texas...it's hot a balls....my balls get hot. The temperature is averaging around 98-101F for the last few weeks. Yup I'm a sadist. I must be to run in Hell.
Here is my challenge laid out in its entirety:
There are approx 14 weeks til September 23rd. That is 98 days including weekends. My average route is 3.2 miles. If my plan is to run/walk 150 miles then it should take me 47 days to do so. "Whoa, bro, you got plenty of time to hit that mark." Well you would think that but as of right now I don't have the stamina to do this every day so I am accounting for 3-4 times per week of hitting this trail. I expect my stamina to slowly build as I do this more often so I thing 150 is a very attainable goal.
To track my progress I have a spreadsheet where I will notate my mileage, steps and calories burned. I can do this thanks to the glorious miracles of modern technology and a little device called a pedometer. It will track all the info I need to make sure I'm honest with myself and can achive everything I want to.
So that's it. My challenge, my goal, my hell for the summer. 150 miles by September 23rd. As always I will update my blog and let you know how I'm doing and the inevitable heat stroke that will happen.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Hello, my name is Thomas and I'm an addict...
I'm not addicted to illegal drugs, food, alcohol or prescription pills. I'm addicted to energy drinks, specifically Monster. I like to "Unleash the Beast" as the can says. L-Carnitine, taurine and ginseng how I long for your tingle on my tongue. Caffeine, you my friend, are what gets my blood flowing. Hey there B-Vitamins glad you made it cause I need you more than ever. What exactly is your flavor? Fruit punch? Strawberry? Some amalgamation of everything that is tasty? It matters not because you quench my thirst, tickle my taste buds and make me crash. Ah the dreaded crash. I feel you coming on as my eyelids get heavy, my irritation levels increase and my urge to kill rises to Ted Bundy-like levels. Like a junky looking for a heroine fix, a coke addict looking for a bump or a fatty looking for a donut to eat in the dark. You have me fixated on the rush and I cry a little inside when you are gone.
In all seriousness I drink way too many of them. Monster, Red Bull and Venom are my poisons of choice. Unfortunately 2 of them are CONSTANTLY at my disposal as they are sold here at work and for much less than my local QT or Race Trac does. To make matters worse is I get $6 each day allotted to me for food by my department. Now, let me make one thing very clear: I do eat and I do not squander my per Diem on energy drinks. I do, however, use some of that allowance to buy one. That being said, I looked in my car which doubles as a trash can and noticed the carnage of spent cans in the back. It's pure aluminum carnage and some cans are crushed most likely as a result of the "monster" strength I got from chugging a can. Yea I know....don't crush my dreams. The can has a small label "warning" on it that says not to consume more than 3 cans each day. There have been days in the past where I have had more than 3 so I hope that's a polite suggestion and not a precursor warning of imminent death or coronary explosion. I felt OK afterward.....a little jittery and was playing with knives but I was fine.
Since I am of the analytical, aka. nerd, mind let's dissect the components of a typical 16oz can of green Monster shall we? First off you see the green trademarked "M" logo where it's obvious that a huge beast of a person has scratched his way through sheer aluminum. OK...I'm sold. Blog post done. KIDDING!! The next thing you see is "ENERGY". Hey, I need energy, there is energy in this can. If I consume the drink I can have energy too. FUCKING SWEEEET!! WWWRRRRRRAAAARRRRRRR!!! Oh wait...there is some strange "extra" stuff in my can of liquid fuck-off. Let's dig deeper into them and see what's up:
Straight jacked from Wiki:
TAURINE- Taurine, or 2-aminoethanesulfonic acid, is an organic acid. It is a major constituent of bile and can be found in the lower intestineand, in small amounts, in the tissues of many animals, including humans.Taurine is a derivative of the sulfur-containing (sulfhydryl) amino acid cysteine. Taurine is one of the few known naturally occurring sulfonic acids.
Despite being present in many energy foods, taurine has not been proven to be energy-giving. FUCK!!!!
Taurine is regularly used as an ingredient in energy drinks, with many containing 1000mg per serving, and some as much as 2000mg. A 2003 study by the European Food Safety Authority found no adverse effects for up to 1,000 mg of Taurine per kilogram of bodyweight per day; however this was in regards to Taurine alone, noting they did not compare the effects of Taurine when combined with the other ingredients in energy drinks.
A review published in 2008 found no documented reports of negative health effects associated with the amount of taurine used in energy drinks, concluding that "The amounts of guarana, taurine, and ginseng found in popular energy drinks are far below the amounts expected to deliver either therapeutic benefits or adverse events".
OK, so we can derrive from my snippets that Taurine is pretty useless on it's own but let's keep on trucking cause there is more.
L-Carnitine- is a quaternary ammonium compound biosynthesized from the amino acids lysine and methionine. In living cells, it is required for the transport of fatty acids from the cytosol into the mitochondria during the breakdown of lipids (or fats) for the generation of metabolic energy. It is often sold as a nutritional supplement. Carnitine was originally found as a growth factor for mealworms and labeled vitamin Bt.
Is your head spinning yet?? There's more:
As a weight loss supplement
"Although L-carnitine has been marketed as a weight loss supplement, there is no scientific evidence to show that it improves weight loss, however some studies show that oral carnitine reduces fat mass, increases muscle mass, and reduces fatigue. All of these effects may contribute to weight loss."
Regular supplements of L-carnitine, however, contribute to energy metabolism and improved neurotransmitter function in the brain in elderly.
Well...that's promising, right? BUT WAIT!!! THERE'S MORE!!!
This stuff has some other things in it too like Ginseng root used for many things in the Asian culture for centuries like treatment for Type II diabetes, as an aphrodisiac and for sexual dysfunction. As my smoking hot wife will tell you I got no problems in the dysfunction part. Giggity.
Guarana...ahhhh this little climbing plant produces a bean that is harvested. Now you java junkies think you got the low down of caffeine?? You got nothing on this little gem. One bean contains TWICE (2x) the caffeine found in your typical coffee bean. BOOOOOM!! What some may not know is that naturally occurring caffeine is actually a defense mechanism to keep the bugs away from the fruit of the plant. Being humans we have once again pilfered nature for our own personal gains and because I need my caffeine before I kill someone in a bloody raging fit because I haven't had my FIX GODDAMNIT!!!! But I digress...
Most people think Americans got the juice when it comes to energy drinks, strong coffee and sodas but the Brazilians have soft drinks(pop, coke, soda) that is made with guarana and supposedly these sweet Baby Jesus-sent cans of love give American sodas and energy drinks the dirty middle finger when it comes to zip-zoom.
Ok, ok so what am I getting at with all my Monster induced rambling? It goes back to what I have said all along.....moderation. Aside from energy drinks having a sleu of questionable chemicals, sugar, rocket fuel, gun powder and maybe trace amounts nuclear over run they are filled with empty calories. One 16oz can has 2 servings at 100 calories per serving....200 per can....drink one a day and that is 1000 extra empty calories per work week. Ouch. I'll make you all a promise: You find one thing you love and back off by half and I'll cut my energy drink consumption down to 2 per week....deal?
Pardon me, I need to go mainline another can first.
I'll leave you with some parting thoughts as I setup my Monster IV:
In all seriousness I drink way too many of them. Monster, Red Bull and Venom are my poisons of choice. Unfortunately 2 of them are CONSTANTLY at my disposal as they are sold here at work and for much less than my local QT or Race Trac does. To make matters worse is I get $6 each day allotted to me for food by my department. Now, let me make one thing very clear: I do eat and I do not squander my per Diem on energy drinks. I do, however, use some of that allowance to buy one. That being said, I looked in my car which doubles as a trash can and noticed the carnage of spent cans in the back. It's pure aluminum carnage and some cans are crushed most likely as a result of the "monster" strength I got from chugging a can. Yea I know....don't crush my dreams. The can has a small label "warning" on it that says not to consume more than 3 cans each day. There have been days in the past where I have had more than 3 so I hope that's a polite suggestion and not a precursor warning of imminent death or coronary explosion. I felt OK afterward.....a little jittery and was playing with knives but I was fine.
Since I am of the analytical, aka. nerd, mind let's dissect the components of a typical 16oz can of green Monster shall we? First off you see the green trademarked "M" logo where it's obvious that a huge beast of a person has scratched his way through sheer aluminum. OK...I'm sold. Blog post done. KIDDING!! The next thing you see is "ENERGY". Hey, I need energy, there is energy in this can. If I consume the drink I can have energy too. FUCKING SWEEEET!! WWWRRRRRRAAAARRRRRRR!!! Oh wait...there is some strange "extra" stuff in my can of liquid fuck-off. Let's dig deeper into them and see what's up:
Straight jacked from Wiki:
TAURINE- Taurine, or 2-aminoethanesulfonic acid, is an organic acid. It is a major constituent of bile and can be found in the lower intestineand, in small amounts, in the tissues of many animals, including humans.Taurine is a derivative of the sulfur-containing (sulfhydryl) amino acid cysteine. Taurine is one of the few known naturally occurring sulfonic acids.
Despite being present in many energy foods, taurine has not been proven to be energy-giving. FUCK!!!!
Taurine is regularly used as an ingredient in energy drinks, with many containing 1000mg per serving, and some as much as 2000mg. A 2003 study by the European Food Safety Authority found no adverse effects for up to 1,000 mg of Taurine per kilogram of bodyweight per day; however this was in regards to Taurine alone, noting they did not compare the effects of Taurine when combined with the other ingredients in energy drinks.
A review published in 2008 found no documented reports of negative health effects associated with the amount of taurine used in energy drinks, concluding that "The amounts of guarana, taurine, and ginseng found in popular energy drinks are far below the amounts expected to deliver either therapeutic benefits or adverse events".
OK, so we can derrive from my snippets that Taurine is pretty useless on it's own but let's keep on trucking cause there is more.
L-Carnitine- is a quaternary ammonium compound biosynthesized from the amino acids lysine and methionine. In living cells, it is required for the transport of fatty acids from the cytosol into the mitochondria during the breakdown of lipids (or fats) for the generation of metabolic energy. It is often sold as a nutritional supplement. Carnitine was originally found as a growth factor for mealworms and labeled vitamin Bt.
Is your head spinning yet?? There's more:
As a weight loss supplement
"Although L-carnitine has been marketed as a weight loss supplement, there is no scientific evidence to show that it improves weight loss, however some studies show that oral carnitine reduces fat mass, increases muscle mass, and reduces fatigue. All of these effects may contribute to weight loss."
Regular supplements of L-carnitine, however, contribute to energy metabolism and improved neurotransmitter function in the brain in elderly.
Well...that's promising, right? BUT WAIT!!! THERE'S MORE!!!
This stuff has some other things in it too like Ginseng root used for many things in the Asian culture for centuries like treatment for Type II diabetes, as an aphrodisiac and for sexual dysfunction. As my smoking hot wife will tell you I got no problems in the dysfunction part. Giggity.
Guarana...ahhhh this little climbing plant produces a bean that is harvested. Now you java junkies think you got the low down of caffeine?? You got nothing on this little gem. One bean contains TWICE (2x) the caffeine found in your typical coffee bean. BOOOOOM!! What some may not know is that naturally occurring caffeine is actually a defense mechanism to keep the bugs away from the fruit of the plant. Being humans we have once again pilfered nature for our own personal gains and because I need my caffeine before I kill someone in a bloody raging fit because I haven't had my FIX GODDAMNIT!!!! But I digress...
Most people think Americans got the juice when it comes to energy drinks, strong coffee and sodas but the Brazilians have soft drinks(pop, coke, soda) that is made with guarana and supposedly these sweet Baby Jesus-sent cans of love give American sodas and energy drinks the dirty middle finger when it comes to zip-zoom.
Ok, ok so what am I getting at with all my Monster induced rambling? It goes back to what I have said all along.....moderation. Aside from energy drinks having a sleu of questionable chemicals, sugar, rocket fuel, gun powder and maybe trace amounts nuclear over run they are filled with empty calories. One 16oz can has 2 servings at 100 calories per serving....200 per can....drink one a day and that is 1000 extra empty calories per work week. Ouch. I'll make you all a promise: You find one thing you love and back off by half and I'll cut my energy drink consumption down to 2 per week....deal?
Pardon me, I need to go mainline another can first.
I'll leave you with some parting thoughts as I setup my Monster IV:
Thursday, May 6, 2010
So..what's been happening?
Feels like ages since I have posted something of value, inspiring or note-worthy but alas I don't have much.
Melissa and I did attend the "Live Green Expo" recently in Richardson. It was a hippy hemp fest to a point but found it rather bland for our lifestyle because we are not home owners. Most of the booths and vendors were geared to those who are not apartment dwellers. Living in an apartment does not lend itself well to composting, solar panel installation or gardening on a large enough scale to eliminate grocery store visits. We did see some of the other local Farmer's Markets other than the Dallas market which was cool. We stumbled on a one called Newflower Farmer's Market in Plano. This place is cool. Lots of fresh veggies and more organic stuff than you can shake a hippie at. We were both impressed at the quality and flavor of the organic foods we bought. First thing we noticed....most of the organics are smaller in physical size but the flavor is amazing. For example, we eat lettuce, Romaine to be exact and have been buying packs from Wal-Mart or Sam's Club and it has just been regular lettuce and what we have expected. Then we decided to try the organic Romaine and was blown away with how flavorful it was in comparison. The texture was different, it had less water and more flavor. We found that with other things too like bananas and red onions. Now as Americans we have been trained to think "bigger is better" but in this case not so much. Also, I only cook for 2 people. Size of the veggies doesn't really matter. I make a ton of veggies every dinner and we always seems to have enough. What really gets me is the price. They use LESS or NOTHING extra to make this thing grow yet you grow it smaller AND charge me more? It seems produce is not immune to fancy marketing. It is more expensive but after a while you get used to it but there is still a part of you that thinks "Damn, I can get a 3-pack of Romaine at Wal-Mart with heads twice that size for half the price." It's a tough mental challenge to overcome no doubt.
Is organic more healthy? Is it worth the price? Can I continue to buy organic just on taste alone? Am I really helping a local farmer? Am I just conforming to another trend? How does buying more expensive organic produce help me? Can I afford it? Am I doing nothing more than helping large produce growers get richer by buying what THEY claim is organic? Am I the victim of fancy marketing? WHAT IS IN IT FOR ME???
Those are all the questions that swim in my head when we buy organics. Most of them I can't answer with 100% confidence. My culinary training tells me to buy the best to cook with because it will produce the best outcome. Meh...sometimes that's the case and sometimes not. Flavor is such a subjective thing. I buy store brand olive oil as an example. Tastes great, still first cold pressing of the olives but $3 less per bottle than Colavita. I'm still not convinced that organics are healthier or better. They taste great but beyond that I couldn't tell you.
Again, it boils down to this: Buy healthy and buy what you can afford. Stay away from crap, exercise and be active. If you can't buy an organic cucumber then buy the regular one. Just make sure you buy one. Vote with your wallet and vote as often as possible. Voting has been the way making decisions in this country for hundreds of years but for some reason we choose to not use the one thing that speaks louder than a voice, a ballot or a campaign......our money.
Melissa and I did attend the "Live Green Expo" recently in Richardson. It was a hippy hemp fest to a point but found it rather bland for our lifestyle because we are not home owners. Most of the booths and vendors were geared to those who are not apartment dwellers. Living in an apartment does not lend itself well to composting, solar panel installation or gardening on a large enough scale to eliminate grocery store visits. We did see some of the other local Farmer's Markets other than the Dallas market which was cool. We stumbled on a one called Newflower Farmer's Market in Plano. This place is cool. Lots of fresh veggies and more organic stuff than you can shake a hippie at. We were both impressed at the quality and flavor of the organic foods we bought. First thing we noticed....most of the organics are smaller in physical size but the flavor is amazing. For example, we eat lettuce, Romaine to be exact and have been buying packs from Wal-Mart or Sam's Club and it has just been regular lettuce and what we have expected. Then we decided to try the organic Romaine and was blown away with how flavorful it was in comparison. The texture was different, it had less water and more flavor. We found that with other things too like bananas and red onions. Now as Americans we have been trained to think "bigger is better" but in this case not so much. Also, I only cook for 2 people. Size of the veggies doesn't really matter. I make a ton of veggies every dinner and we always seems to have enough. What really gets me is the price. They use LESS or NOTHING extra to make this thing grow yet you grow it smaller AND charge me more? It seems produce is not immune to fancy marketing. It is more expensive but after a while you get used to it but there is still a part of you that thinks "Damn, I can get a 3-pack of Romaine at Wal-Mart with heads twice that size for half the price." It's a tough mental challenge to overcome no doubt.
Is organic more healthy? Is it worth the price? Can I continue to buy organic just on taste alone? Am I really helping a local farmer? Am I just conforming to another trend? How does buying more expensive organic produce help me? Can I afford it? Am I doing nothing more than helping large produce growers get richer by buying what THEY claim is organic? Am I the victim of fancy marketing? WHAT IS IN IT FOR ME???
Those are all the questions that swim in my head when we buy organics. Most of them I can't answer with 100% confidence. My culinary training tells me to buy the best to cook with because it will produce the best outcome. Meh...sometimes that's the case and sometimes not. Flavor is such a subjective thing. I buy store brand olive oil as an example. Tastes great, still first cold pressing of the olives but $3 less per bottle than Colavita. I'm still not convinced that organics are healthier or better. They taste great but beyond that I couldn't tell you.
Again, it boils down to this: Buy healthy and buy what you can afford. Stay away from crap, exercise and be active. If you can't buy an organic cucumber then buy the regular one. Just make sure you buy one. Vote with your wallet and vote as often as possible. Voting has been the way making decisions in this country for hundreds of years but for some reason we choose to not use the one thing that speaks louder than a voice, a ballot or a campaign......our money.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Testing...testing...1,2,3
It's been a few weeks since my mental breakdown so I figured it was time for an update:
The results from my Doctor appointments, blood tests and physical came in finally. Over a week of waiting and a little self-induced agony I found out that nothing is wrong. Nope, not a damn thing. My heart is good, lungs sound great (and I smoke), I have the cholesterol levels that prove I stay clear of crap food, my testosterone levels are normal and most importantly my thyroid levels are normal. I can't say that I'm entirely surprised by this. I knew everything was normal and functioning like it should. It's possible I let the mental aspect of my plateau get in the way of being as productive as I could be. As a result I caused Melissa to worry and probably had her head spinning about a number of other things that could be wrong. I also let a side of me show in my last post that I haven't seen in a very long time. I thought that part of me was long gone but it re-surfaced. For these things I apologize. I was a little out of my head and wasn't sure what to do. I know differently now. I know that no matter what is wrong I have someone I can talk to about anything. In the past it hasn't been so easy and I'm glad things are different now.
Now that the appointments are done, got my physical and had my hysterical break down it's time to figure out exactly where to go from here. The only logical thing that makes sense is to just keep going and keep plugging at it. Funny thing...my doctor said to me "You know, Thomas, sometimes you can't fight genetics. It's possible you were predetermined to be 212lbs and have a little gut." I looked at him like he second nose growing out of his eyeball. That is a statement I just cannot accept. We are all the products of our environment. Genetics predetermine things like hair color, eye color and such but I find it hard to believe that my genetics state I should have the perpetual beer gut when I don't drink that much beer. Sorry, thanks for playing.
I digress. Back to the issue at hand: What to do now? I think I may have the answer although it's not what I want. I obviously need to work harder in the gym and get back to doing more cardio. I'll admit I've slipped in that area. Also, I'm dialing back my carb intake. I started to analyze my carb consumption and realized I was not doing as well as I thought. Yes, I have been eating brown rice, wheat pasta and wheat bread regularly because they are better for you but I have been eating more than I should. When it boils down to it carbs are carbs are carbs. Good carbs or bad they can work against you. It seems like this is what has happened.
I have been eating way more than my fair share of yummy brown rice and wheat pasta and my carb count was, best guess, much more than what I was eating last summer when i had a decent amount of weight loss. Essentially what I have been doing is working out just enough to work off what I was eating. Thus my calories out were equal or less than calories in. Let's remember that weight loss= more calories out than in.
So there it is. I'm not sick, I'm not chemically imbalanced (although moral majority opinions vary) and I'm not necessarily doing anything wrong. I guess I just got lazy. I had nothing to work for or towards like I did last year. So that is where the next part of the challenge begins. The challenge being that I continue to lose. In my case I consider any loss an absolute win.
Monday, March 15, 2010
The hate in me...
Recently I have had a ton of hatred and anger. Angry at my weight loss road block and angry at the gym in general. I hate the way I STILL look after many hours in the gym. I hate going to the gym because it feels like a fruitless endeavor only to have my weight stay the same as it has for the last 2 months or so.
I'm frustrated at my energy levels and my general apathy to even thinking about they gym. What's the point? I'm not getting anywhere and I am no closer to reaching my goal weight than I was when this year started. Busting ass to stay the same is not what I had in mind when I started this trek. People I talk to say "You look great! I can't believe you want to lose more." or "You know they say the last few pounds are the hardest to get rid of." Well, I don't know who "they" are and why "they" say that but fuck 'em cause they are wrong. I still have a gut and man boobs I can't get rid of and it literally pisses me off.
Right now I'm sitting at 212lbs. Granted that is a far cry from the 240lbs I was at but it has taken me a year or more to shed that. I still see myself as a fatty. My goal is 190lbs and it is within my reach. I don't eat crap, I stay away from refined sugars, I work out almost every week day and I still see no improvement. I have contemplated some very drastic things to accelerate my metabolism and none of them are good or healthy and most have a potential for even worse side effects. I take a stack right now but it just seems to keep me level, keeps my energy at a point I can function, not do more or work harder but just function.
To make matters worse...well not worse but definitely different is that Melissa has started on a medication that is giving her loads of lost energy due to it regulating her tyroid production. I, unfortunately, am still waiting on my test results and subsiquent doctors appointment where I hope a resolution can be found.
Admittedly it has caused a little depression. This is not me. I'm the happiest person I know. I have an absolutely perfect wife and perfect marriage but this stuggle is driving me insane. It's affected me in ways that I never thought of and I hope I can eventually explain it to the one I love. When you go to Poncho's Mexican Buffet you raise the flag for more....my flag has been missing. I know people read this who are close to Melissa and frankly I don't care who sees it. Its a real thing, its embarassing and it just adds insult to injury so to speak. I want it to stop.
That's all I have to say. I hate myself right now.
I'm frustrated at my energy levels and my general apathy to even thinking about they gym. What's the point? I'm not getting anywhere and I am no closer to reaching my goal weight than I was when this year started. Busting ass to stay the same is not what I had in mind when I started this trek. People I talk to say "You look great! I can't believe you want to lose more." or "You know they say the last few pounds are the hardest to get rid of." Well, I don't know who "they" are and why "they" say that but fuck 'em cause they are wrong. I still have a gut and man boobs I can't get rid of and it literally pisses me off.
Right now I'm sitting at 212lbs. Granted that is a far cry from the 240lbs I was at but it has taken me a year or more to shed that. I still see myself as a fatty. My goal is 190lbs and it is within my reach. I don't eat crap, I stay away from refined sugars, I work out almost every week day and I still see no improvement. I have contemplated some very drastic things to accelerate my metabolism and none of them are good or healthy and most have a potential for even worse side effects. I take a stack right now but it just seems to keep me level, keeps my energy at a point I can function, not do more or work harder but just function.
To make matters worse...well not worse but definitely different is that Melissa has started on a medication that is giving her loads of lost energy due to it regulating her tyroid production. I, unfortunately, am still waiting on my test results and subsiquent doctors appointment where I hope a resolution can be found.
Admittedly it has caused a little depression. This is not me. I'm the happiest person I know. I have an absolutely perfect wife and perfect marriage but this stuggle is driving me insane. It's affected me in ways that I never thought of and I hope I can eventually explain it to the one I love. When you go to Poncho's Mexican Buffet you raise the flag for more....my flag has been missing. I know people read this who are close to Melissa and frankly I don't care who sees it. Its a real thing, its embarassing and it just adds insult to injury so to speak. I want it to stop.
That's all I have to say. I hate myself right now.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Let's talk turkey....
....and beef and pork and chicken. Matter of fact let's have a little discussion about food in general. Recently Melissa and I watched a documentary called Food Inc. Take a few minutes and have a look at the trailer:
Official Food, Inc. Movie Site - Hungry For Change? - Trailer and Photos
Watching this movie opened my eyes to a "world behind the world" of the manufacturing and processing of a lot of the major things we eat daily. I've always had an idea that the processing of food is not a pretty business. Let's face it, most of us don't WANT to know where our food comes from. We just want it to be there when we are hungry. I read a lot of books in Culinary school, both by choice and force, about the industry I was jumping into. I wanted to learn as much as I could about all aspects of the food business because ultimately I thought it would make me more marketable and desirable for jobs. What I found out while reading is that the business as a whole is dirty. There are working conditions in food processing plants that wouldn't be acceptable in 3rd world countries but yet we allow it here. Undocumented workers along with falsified FDA, OSHA and USDA records. Human body parts cut off by equipment or machines moving too fast for the workers to keep up or the worker cutting off their own finger in the process. All of this stuff has or is currently happening. In their defense the conditions have improved greatly over the past 25 years but it's still not optimum. The ONLY thing all these companies are concerned about is growing it faster, growing it bigger, harvesting it cheaper, selling it cheaper to be produced, producing it faster and selling it at the maximum profit margin possible.
"Woa, bro, whoa...whoa. How the hell do they know what kind of chicken wings I like and when to put them on sale?"
What a fan-damn-tastic question. I'll tell you. The answer is...YOU! They know what you like, how you like it, what brand you like and how often you buy it. Every time you go to the grocery store and an item you buy is scanned they got you. On June 26, 1974 the VERY first item was scanned and logged by a barcode reader: a 10 pack of Wrigley's gum. In the beginning it was a benign concept: make getting in and out of the grocery store quicker, let's save our checkers from carpel tunnel syndrome and "enhance" the drudgery of grocery shopping with some technology to make life simple. Behind the veil of the innocuous barcode scanner lies a horde of information being gathered such as: Product name, brand name or generic, date/time, coupon used, frequency purchased, quantity at any given time sold, on sale or not and even if the purchase was made with cash or credit card. They know EVERYTHING about that purchase. Granted this information is incredibly useful to the store directly and will ultimately affect the amount of inventory delivered. But let's follow the trail a little further. The item is scanned, info obtained, inventory levels adjusted, orders placed, distributors notified and their inventory adjusted, producer/manufacturer notified to produce more, farmers told to increase yield to deliver to manufacturing plant. Thousands of people across the country affected by YOU buying ONE bag of chicken wings. Amazing, huh?
There lies the rub. You making that purchase is what has caused overproduction and adulteration of our food supply. Because of the poor eating habits over the last 30-40 years it has caused higher levels of artificial chemicals to be used to produce a bigger tomato, larger chicken, bigger cattle and everything else that we have wanted "supersized". Hormones, antibiotics, gene therapy and even gene splicing have been used by companies to try and produce a better.....no.....larger and more profitable product. That is what it comes down to....money. The almighty dollar bill. Everyone wants to make a cheaper and more profitable product. At the same time they want to pay the lowest possible wage, skirt regulations when they can and produce that product as quick as possible. I gotta admit it makes good business sense but the process has bastardized the food and ultimately we suffer for it.
We suffer for in our healthcare costs. We suffer for it in our bank accounts. Your children suffer for it with their immune systems. Kids are maturing quicker these days and it is blatantly obvious. How many 15 year old girls did you see 15 years ago will a full C cup breasts? How many do you see now? Yep....I see a lot more. How many kids over the last 10 years have been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD and subsequently prescribed a medication to combat it? Now, take all that info and think REALLY hard about how food tastes have changed and how much more access kids have to fast food with high amounts of fat, sugar, sodium and a host of other chemicals I can't pronounce. Coincidence....possibly but the argument could be made.
I'll use myself as an example. This whole time I have been writing this post I have been sipping on my favorite drink: Diet Dr Pepper. Ok, ok it's not my favorite but since I'm cutting calories and need caffeine I drink it. OK....ok I know I don't need caffeine but I'm gonna drink it so STFU. Anyway....I'm looking at the ingredient list and it is as follows word for word:
Carbonated water, Caramel coloring, Aspartame, Phosphoric acid, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Sodium Benzonate (preservative), Caffeine, Phenylketonurids: Contains Phenylalanine
I bolded what was bolded on the can. WTF is this? I had to Google it. Here is what Wiki says:
"Phenylalanine (abbreviated as Phe or F)[1] is an α-amino acid with the formula HO2CCH(NH2)CH2C6H5. This essential amino acid is classified as nonpolar because of the hydrophobic nature of the benzyl side chain. L-Phenylalanine (LPA) is an electrically-neutral amino acid, one of the twenty common amino acids used to biochemically form proteins, coded for by DNA. The codons for L-phenylalanine are UUU and UUC. Phenylalanine is structurally closely related to dopamine, epinephrine (adrenaline) and tyrosine.
Phenylalanine is found naturally in the breast milk of mammals. It is used in the manufacture of food and drink products and sold as a nutritional supplement for its reputed analgesic and antidepressant effects. It is a direct precursor to the neuromodulator phenylethylamine, a commonly used dietary supplement."
WAIT.....so my Diet DP has an antidepressant added to it??!!!
It makes perfect sense if you think about it. Aspartame, which is the scientific term for Sweet-n-Low, is the main sweetening agent found in a ton of diet drinks. Aspartame is not known for making you feel better and giving you the "boost" you might look for if you were to drink a non-diet soda that contains high fructose corn syrup. So the Soda Nerds at Dr Pepper found a naturally occurring essential amino acid, isolated it and added it to your favorite diet soda. Now you get the same euphoric and "uplifting feeling" that you get when you drink a non-diet soda. Clever little nerds aren't they?
I could go on and on all day about this and bore you to tears while at the same time making you scared about everything you put in your mouth. So you might be asking yourself "What can I do about this? It's Big Business. I can't fight big business." Here is what you can do:
VOTE WITH YOUR WALLET!!
Don't let Big Business have your money if you don't want to. We, as consumers, have the choice. We always have. That choice has NEVER been taken away from us but we have been "trained" to believe that quicker and cheaper is better because Big Business is JUST as concerned about your wallet as you are. I am not naive to the fact there are common things that we have to have daily to survive. The point I'm trying to make is that you have a choice as to where you buy your food. Every time you give "them" your money you are supporting their efforts to continue to market crap to you, your family and your children. Support your local farmers and growers. Shop at a local Farmers Market once a week. Choose meat and poultry that comes from a farm that grass feeds the cows and let's the chickens at least run semi-free. Trust me, I know it costs more and, again, the wallet talks more in many cases but I can guarantee you that making better food choices and exercise 2-3 times a week you WILL feel better, lessen your doctor visits and SAVE you money. That is all the science you need in your meal. Save the chemistry for science class because it doesn't belong at the dinner table.
Some useful links and information:
http://www.localharvest.org/
http://www.polyfacefarms.com/
http://www.hirschsmeats.com/
http://www.texasgrassfedbeef.com/
http://www.rense.com/general76/chk.htm
Official Food, Inc. Movie Site - Hungry For Change? - Trailer and Photos
Watching this movie opened my eyes to a "world behind the world" of the manufacturing and processing of a lot of the major things we eat daily. I've always had an idea that the processing of food is not a pretty business. Let's face it, most of us don't WANT to know where our food comes from. We just want it to be there when we are hungry. I read a lot of books in Culinary school, both by choice and force, about the industry I was jumping into. I wanted to learn as much as I could about all aspects of the food business because ultimately I thought it would make me more marketable and desirable for jobs. What I found out while reading is that the business as a whole is dirty. There are working conditions in food processing plants that wouldn't be acceptable in 3rd world countries but yet we allow it here. Undocumented workers along with falsified FDA, OSHA and USDA records. Human body parts cut off by equipment or machines moving too fast for the workers to keep up or the worker cutting off their own finger in the process. All of this stuff has or is currently happening. In their defense the conditions have improved greatly over the past 25 years but it's still not optimum. The ONLY thing all these companies are concerned about is growing it faster, growing it bigger, harvesting it cheaper, selling it cheaper to be produced, producing it faster and selling it at the maximum profit margin possible.
"Woa, bro, whoa...whoa. How the hell do they know what kind of chicken wings I like and when to put them on sale?"
What a fan-damn-tastic question. I'll tell you. The answer is...YOU! They know what you like, how you like it, what brand you like and how often you buy it. Every time you go to the grocery store and an item you buy is scanned they got you. On June 26, 1974 the VERY first item was scanned and logged by a barcode reader: a 10 pack of Wrigley's gum. In the beginning it was a benign concept: make getting in and out of the grocery store quicker, let's save our checkers from carpel tunnel syndrome and "enhance" the drudgery of grocery shopping with some technology to make life simple. Behind the veil of the innocuous barcode scanner lies a horde of information being gathered such as: Product name, brand name or generic, date/time, coupon used, frequency purchased, quantity at any given time sold, on sale or not and even if the purchase was made with cash or credit card. They know EVERYTHING about that purchase. Granted this information is incredibly useful to the store directly and will ultimately affect the amount of inventory delivered. But let's follow the trail a little further. The item is scanned, info obtained, inventory levels adjusted, orders placed, distributors notified and their inventory adjusted, producer/manufacturer notified to produce more, farmers told to increase yield to deliver to manufacturing plant. Thousands of people across the country affected by YOU buying ONE bag of chicken wings. Amazing, huh?
There lies the rub. You making that purchase is what has caused overproduction and adulteration of our food supply. Because of the poor eating habits over the last 30-40 years it has caused higher levels of artificial chemicals to be used to produce a bigger tomato, larger chicken, bigger cattle and everything else that we have wanted "supersized". Hormones, antibiotics, gene therapy and even gene splicing have been used by companies to try and produce a better.....no.....larger and more profitable product. That is what it comes down to....money. The almighty dollar bill. Everyone wants to make a cheaper and more profitable product. At the same time they want to pay the lowest possible wage, skirt regulations when they can and produce that product as quick as possible. I gotta admit it makes good business sense but the process has bastardized the food and ultimately we suffer for it.
We suffer for in our healthcare costs. We suffer for it in our bank accounts. Your children suffer for it with their immune systems. Kids are maturing quicker these days and it is blatantly obvious. How many 15 year old girls did you see 15 years ago will a full C cup breasts? How many do you see now? Yep....I see a lot more. How many kids over the last 10 years have been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD and subsequently prescribed a medication to combat it? Now, take all that info and think REALLY hard about how food tastes have changed and how much more access kids have to fast food with high amounts of fat, sugar, sodium and a host of other chemicals I can't pronounce. Coincidence....possibly but the argument could be made.
I'll use myself as an example. This whole time I have been writing this post I have been sipping on my favorite drink: Diet Dr Pepper. Ok, ok it's not my favorite but since I'm cutting calories and need caffeine I drink it. OK....ok I know I don't need caffeine but I'm gonna drink it so STFU. Anyway....I'm looking at the ingredient list and it is as follows word for word:
Carbonated water, Caramel coloring, Aspartame, Phosphoric acid, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Sodium Benzonate (preservative), Caffeine, Phenylketonurids: Contains Phenylalanine
I bolded what was bolded on the can. WTF is this? I had to Google it. Here is what Wiki says:
"Phenylalanine (abbreviated as Phe or F)[1] is an α-amino acid with the formula HO2CCH(NH2)CH2C6H5. This essential amino acid is classified as nonpolar because of the hydrophobic nature of the benzyl side chain. L-Phenylalanine (LPA) is an electrically-neutral amino acid, one of the twenty common amino acids used to biochemically form proteins, coded for by DNA. The codons for L-phenylalanine are UUU and UUC. Phenylalanine is structurally closely related to dopamine, epinephrine (adrenaline) and tyrosine.
Phenylalanine is found naturally in the breast milk of mammals. It is used in the manufacture of food and drink products and sold as a nutritional supplement for its reputed analgesic and antidepressant effects. It is a direct precursor to the neuromodulator phenylethylamine, a commonly used dietary supplement."
WAIT.....so my Diet DP has an antidepressant added to it??!!!
It makes perfect sense if you think about it. Aspartame, which is the scientific term for Sweet-n-Low, is the main sweetening agent found in a ton of diet drinks. Aspartame is not known for making you feel better and giving you the "boost" you might look for if you were to drink a non-diet soda that contains high fructose corn syrup. So the Soda Nerds at Dr Pepper found a naturally occurring essential amino acid, isolated it and added it to your favorite diet soda. Now you get the same euphoric and "uplifting feeling" that you get when you drink a non-diet soda. Clever little nerds aren't they?
I could go on and on all day about this and bore you to tears while at the same time making you scared about everything you put in your mouth. So you might be asking yourself "What can I do about this? It's Big Business. I can't fight big business." Here is what you can do:
VOTE WITH YOUR WALLET!!
Don't let Big Business have your money if you don't want to. We, as consumers, have the choice. We always have. That choice has NEVER been taken away from us but we have been "trained" to believe that quicker and cheaper is better because Big Business is JUST as concerned about your wallet as you are. I am not naive to the fact there are common things that we have to have daily to survive. The point I'm trying to make is that you have a choice as to where you buy your food. Every time you give "them" your money you are supporting their efforts to continue to market crap to you, your family and your children. Support your local farmers and growers. Shop at a local Farmers Market once a week. Choose meat and poultry that comes from a farm that grass feeds the cows and let's the chickens at least run semi-free. Trust me, I know it costs more and, again, the wallet talks more in many cases but I can guarantee you that making better food choices and exercise 2-3 times a week you WILL feel better, lessen your doctor visits and SAVE you money. That is all the science you need in your meal. Save the chemistry for science class because it doesn't belong at the dinner table.
Some useful links and information:
http://www.localharvest.org/
http://www.polyfacefarms.com/
http://www.hirschsmeats.com/
http://www.texasgrassfedbeef.com/
http://www.rense.com/general76/chk.htm
Monday, February 8, 2010
Who stole my January?
Yea yea, I know. I missed posting anything in January. Oh well, life goes on.
Now that I think about it that's exactly what happened....life. January was a busy ass month. Flipped the New Year, new decade, went on a cruise, moved to an awesome new place and basically stayed busy the whole month. My job has been hectic and unusually stressful not to mention moving for the first time with Melissa posed it's own set of challenges. We made it though in fine form though. Minimal headaches and only a small amount of hurt feelings but who in reality makes it through a move without lashing out once or twice? Exaclty.
My job has been weighing heavy on me too. Scheduling, catering, multiple Directors on my ass, my immediate boss being a downright idiot and a general feeling of emotional weight pushing me down. It's been tough to deal with and working out is the last thing I have been thinking of. My internal Feng Shui has been way off.
Am I making excuses? Possibly....maybe....it's debatable. Did I have opportunities to go? Sure did. Did I pass on them? Yup. Sometimes you have to let life get in the way in order to make progress towards a goal. Sometimes you cannot "force" things to happen the way you want them to. Trust me, I've tried. I tried in the Culinary industry. Tried my hardest to be the best cook in the kitchen, get noticed, have the best ideas, best work eithic, be faster than the others. Then I let go and let things happen as they were supposed to and now I'm not in the kitchen anymore hence being able to write this blog at 11am on a Monday.
All that shit brings me to the point of this particular entry: Let things happen as they must. How many times have you tried your damndest to make things work they way they were supposed to and they didn't and the end result was less than palatable?? It happens with working out. Remember me saying that we don't live the Biggest Loser lifestyle? This is what I meant. If life is getting in the way and your personal "schedule of comfort" is all fucked up then it is pointless to try and force yourself to endure the gym. Yea I know it goes against the grain of what everyone says but in my opinion in order to make the body healthy then the mind must be healthy as well.
Mental well being has been proven to be a huge factor in being healthy overall. Just look at any morbidly obese person who looks unhealthy and acts unhealthy. They look lost, depressesed, vapid facial expressions are the norm, thereis no ray of sunshine, nothing to look forward to and they carry their black cloud with them everywhere they go. Once again, take The Biggest Loser as a prime example. Those people are so down on themselves that their brain chemistry has changed to alter their thought patterns and emotional state of mind. They harbor guilt, depression, personal loss, low self esteem, lonliness and anger for things you and I can't imagine. They have eaten their emotions and gone back for seconds. All of this has changed them into people they don't want to be but have no idea how to change back because somewhere in the shuffle they lost their own identities.
So if you are still with me then let me try and wrap this in a nutshell: If your world turns upside down then relieve some of your mental stess and don't hang your gym time over your head. It can hurt you more than help you. Get focused, find your comfort pattern again and then get back in the gym. Just remember not to lose focus of your goals and what you want to achieve but at the same time keep in mind that mental health is just as important as physical health.
Now that I think about it that's exactly what happened....life. January was a busy ass month. Flipped the New Year, new decade, went on a cruise, moved to an awesome new place and basically stayed busy the whole month. My job has been hectic and unusually stressful not to mention moving for the first time with Melissa posed it's own set of challenges. We made it though in fine form though. Minimal headaches and only a small amount of hurt feelings but who in reality makes it through a move without lashing out once or twice? Exaclty.
My job has been weighing heavy on me too. Scheduling, catering, multiple Directors on my ass, my immediate boss being a downright idiot and a general feeling of emotional weight pushing me down. It's been tough to deal with and working out is the last thing I have been thinking of. My internal Feng Shui has been way off.
Am I making excuses? Possibly....maybe....it's debatable. Did I have opportunities to go? Sure did. Did I pass on them? Yup. Sometimes you have to let life get in the way in order to make progress towards a goal. Sometimes you cannot "force" things to happen the way you want them to. Trust me, I've tried. I tried in the Culinary industry. Tried my hardest to be the best cook in the kitchen, get noticed, have the best ideas, best work eithic, be faster than the others. Then I let go and let things happen as they were supposed to and now I'm not in the kitchen anymore hence being able to write this blog at 11am on a Monday.
All that shit brings me to the point of this particular entry: Let things happen as they must. How many times have you tried your damndest to make things work they way they were supposed to and they didn't and the end result was less than palatable?? It happens with working out. Remember me saying that we don't live the Biggest Loser lifestyle? This is what I meant. If life is getting in the way and your personal "schedule of comfort" is all fucked up then it is pointless to try and force yourself to endure the gym. Yea I know it goes against the grain of what everyone says but in my opinion in order to make the body healthy then the mind must be healthy as well.
Mental well being has been proven to be a huge factor in being healthy overall. Just look at any morbidly obese person who looks unhealthy and acts unhealthy. They look lost, depressesed, vapid facial expressions are the norm, thereis no ray of sunshine, nothing to look forward to and they carry their black cloud with them everywhere they go. Once again, take The Biggest Loser as a prime example. Those people are so down on themselves that their brain chemistry has changed to alter their thought patterns and emotional state of mind. They harbor guilt, depression, personal loss, low self esteem, lonliness and anger for things you and I can't imagine. They have eaten their emotions and gone back for seconds. All of this has changed them into people they don't want to be but have no idea how to change back because somewhere in the shuffle they lost their own identities.
So if you are still with me then let me try and wrap this in a nutshell: If your world turns upside down then relieve some of your mental stess and don't hang your gym time over your head. It can hurt you more than help you. Get focused, find your comfort pattern again and then get back in the gym. Just remember not to lose focus of your goals and what you want to achieve but at the same time keep in mind that mental health is just as important as physical health.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Resolution...Shmesolution
So here we are...the first full week of 2010. Hope everyone made it through through the holidays safe and sound because I know all of you made it through a little fatter than you were prior to Thanksgiving. It's ok...it happens. That's what is good about all those days strung together. Its your excuse to let things go and indulge a bit. "I'll work it off when January gets here." "It's only 1 extra piece of pie." "I'm allowed to eat during the holidays because I starve myself all year long." "No biggie, one of my resolu...." SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
I hear all these excuses for eating crappy during this time of year. Did I? You bet I did but I'm not making excuses for it. Did I go buck wild...no. I had my share of cake and pie and turkey, and ham and potatoes and all the things that make this time of year grand. The one thing I WILL NOT DO is make a goddamned resolution to "Lose the holiday weight."
Resolutions are a load of crap. We make promises to ourselves to "be a better person", "Give more to charity.", "Lose those 20lbs I have been hanging on to."...and the list goes on and on. Almost every single solitary time YOU WILL FAIL. Wanna know why? It simple....we don't care enough to follow through. Sure there are some out there who get fed up and do something about it and there are those who start doing something about it but ultimately they falter because something comes along to derail them. Most of the time it is a subconscious action that they do that will ultimately derail their determination to lose weight. They do something that keeps them from going and before you know it the gym membership is 3 months old and only used about 6 weeks. Then you keep it and keep paying on it and still don't go, then you change bank accounts and forget about them auto drafting money for the membership you don't use and then before you know it you owe them a huge amount of money for something you never use. See how they stay in business??? All this hassle and money wasted because you made yourself a promise to lose weight and then didn't even have the courage of your own convictions to follow through. Pretty pathetic, huh?
Ok, so let's say you are steadfast in your thought process and you decide to do something about your gut/butt/thighs and 2010 is YOUR year. Let me give you some tips to help you on your way and hopefully win your personal battle against your bulge:
1. NEVER NEVER NEVER start on Monday. Worst possible mistake people make. Why, you ask? Because everyone hates Monday's especially the Monday after a holiday. You are doing something you don't want to do before you even start....go to work. Now, not only that but you have the anxiety of going to a public gym for the first time and you have no clue what you are going to do. They will laugh at you and you will be hated by those of us who know you are coming....and we do hate you.
2. It's OK to start small. "But...but...but...I gotta jump right in and go go go." SHUT....UP. You DO NOT live the Biggest Loser lifestyle. You DO NOT have the luxury of working with 2 bad ass trainers like those folks do and you were not tapped to be on a major TV show to try and win money. Face facts: you live in a world of bills, jobs, kids (sorry for you), pets, temptations, stress and all those other things that make our lives what they are. If you jump right in and change your eating habits, try and work out 2 hours each day and juggle your life YOU WILL FAIL. Start by going 3 time each week and get about 20-30 minutes of cardio in. Drink lot's of water and substitute your regular sodas for diet or unsweetened ice tea. Do this for a few weeks to get used to the gym environment. It is a huge culture shock and can be very intimidating.
3. DO NOT be afraid of the free weight area. Once you have become comfortable with the gym itself the go here: http://www.bodybuilding.com . That site is a wealth of knowledge for exercises that will target body parts and let you build your routine. "But all those beef heads intimidate me and I don't belong there." Do you have a gut? Do you want to get stronger? Do you HATE the look of the extra weight you carry? If you answered "YES" to any of those questions then you belong there.
4. STAY AWAY FROM THE GYM TRAINERS. Those guys and gals get paid by the hour and that hour is a waste of your time. I have been a member of 2 different national chain gyms and have yet to see a trainer that worked someone like they should be worked. It's a scam by he gyms to get more of your money. Period. I'm sure there are good trainers out there but I have yet to see one worth a damn or worth a dime.
5. DO NOT get discouraged if you work 30 minutes on the elliptical and your pants don't magically feel bigger the next day. Your fatness didn't happen over night and your skinniness won't either. This is a long process and it's frustrating but it's also part of the game. Your determination will be the key to your success.
6. Make yourself sweat like a damn field hand. Sweating does more than make you smell, it keeps you cool but it also tells you that you are burning calories. A calorie is a unit of heat. 1 calorie is how much heat it takes to raise the temp of 1 liter of water 1 degree. 1 pound of fat is 3500 calories. When you sweat you are slightly raising your core temp and thus "burning" calories. SWEAT SWEAT SWEAT.
7. Most importantly...DON'T MAKE EXCUSES...DON'T MAKE EXCUSES...DON'T MAKE EXCUSES. If your family complains about you not being there as much or your hubby is pissed cause you forgot to bring home some Lone Star Light then tell them to either shut up or get their fat asses up and join you.
I leave you with a video full of inspiration. If this doesn't make you feel like shit for every reason you have given not to change your life then enjoy your early grave.
7. Most importantly...DON'T MAKE EXCUSES...DON'T MAKE EXCUSES...DON'T MAKE EXCUSES. If your family complains about you not being there as much or your hubby is pissed cause you forgot to bring home some Lone Star Light then tell them to either shut up or get their fat asses up and join you.
I leave you with a video full of inspiration. If this doesn't make you feel like shit for every reason you have given not to change your life then enjoy your early grave.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Frustrations....
It's pretty common for someone working out to have frustrations with various things. Some of us complain about the gym hours, lack of machines open, free weights everywhere, old fat guys putting their bare ass on the bench in the dry sauna and things like that. I can, to a point, deal with all that. I feel like it's just part of the game. People suck in general and they suck even more when they are at a place they would rather not be. I'm not that way. I like the gym. I look forward to it. I love the smell, the sounds and the people watching.
I'm talking about personal frustrations. Those are the ones I struggle with. I feel like I have plateaued in some way. I eat well and honestly make really good food choices 98% of the time. There is the odd cheat meal and non-diet drink and I can live with that. Sanity food is what I like to call it. I'm not sure if I can pinpoint my frustrations. I hate the gut I'm still carrying although it's not nearly as big as it used to be. I hate the lack of definition in my arms and legs although I see the vascularity in my arms and can see some obvious muscle buldges in my thighs. I wish I could lift more weight in the gym although I have made excellent gains since I started. I guess I'm just frustrated overall.
I have a goal I was trying to reach but I really don't know if I will make it. I have 17 days as of today to reach that goal and I am what seems like 100,000 miles away. I'm currently sitting at 211lbs. My goal by January 9th was to hit 200lbs. We are leaving for a cruise and I wated to look the best I have ever looked in many many years. I wanted to walk on that deck proudly with my shirt off and not feel self conscious for once. I really have doubts that I can shed 11 pounds in 17 days. I know we see it all the time on Biggest Loser of double digit weight loss in 1 week but let's face it...those people are MORBIDLY obese. They are on the verge of their bodies saying "You know what buddy? I'm done with this, let's take a permanent nap." You got a lot to lose you lose a lot. I honestly didn't think I would reach this point for at least another 15lbs and I would understand at that point because I would be on the threshold of my "ideal" weight.
I take my suppliments, I eat clean, I work my ass off in the gym....or do I? Am I short changing myself? Am I really not pushing myself as hard as I could? I walk out sweaty, tired and a battered shell of my earler self. Is that enough? I really don't know. I have been on the same workout routine for about 4-5 months now and this week I decided to switch things up. that's what I hear all the other Brolys say. My previous workout was as follows:
Monday- Chest
Tuesday-Shoulders
Wednesday-Legs
Thursday-Back
Friday-Arms
Sunday-Circuit
Hmmmmm, that's 6 days a week on average. Is it possible I'm overtraining? Not giving my body enough time to recover? A quick Google search says the following about overtraining:
"Overtraining is the result of giving your body more work or stress than it can handle. Overtraining occurs when a person experiences stress and physical trauma from exercise faster than their body can repair the damage"
"...excessive exercise may lead to overtraining, but don't forget to consider other stresses, such as family or work commitments."
"Remember, stress is stress, whether it's a physical, mental or emotional stress, it still has the same effect on your health and well-being."
I don't have many of the physical signs of overtraining but let's look at the psychological signs and symptoms:
Fatigued, tired, drained, lack of energy
Reduced ability to concentrate
Apathy or no motivation
Irritability
Anxiety
Depression
Headaches
Insomnia
Inability to relax
Twitchy, fidgety or jittery
The ones in bold describe me to a T. But what throws me are the physical signs:
Elevated resting pulse / heart rate
Frequent minor infections
Increased susceptibility to colds and flu's
Increases in minor injuries
Chronic muscle soreness or joint pain
Exhaustion
Lethargy
Weight loss
Appetite loss
Insatiable thirst or dehydration
Intolerance to exercise
Decreased performance
Delayed recovery from exercise
I don't have near as many. Now I'll be honest...I can be lazy but in all seriousness this is exactly how I feel. Everytime I walk in the gym I have the mindset that I'm gonna bust my ass and make the workout count. I may be doing myself a disservice. I recently took some time off from the gym for about a week. It felt good. Stress levels dropped, I didn't feel rushed and I enjoyed the gym time not hanging over my head every day. At the same time I felt like I was doing something very wrong by not going. What the hell is wrong with me? I like the time off the gym but I mentally feel like crap for not going. It felt like I "no call, no showed" for work.
I'm so confused and feel like a writer with mental block, a director with no direction or a stripper who can't seem to take her clothes off. Either way I will continure pounding away as always and doing what I can to keep things up.
At this point I have no choice because I won't go back to what I used to look like.
Current weight: 211lbs
I'm talking about personal frustrations. Those are the ones I struggle with. I feel like I have plateaued in some way. I eat well and honestly make really good food choices 98% of the time. There is the odd cheat meal and non-diet drink and I can live with that. Sanity food is what I like to call it. I'm not sure if I can pinpoint my frustrations. I hate the gut I'm still carrying although it's not nearly as big as it used to be. I hate the lack of definition in my arms and legs although I see the vascularity in my arms and can see some obvious muscle buldges in my thighs. I wish I could lift more weight in the gym although I have made excellent gains since I started. I guess I'm just frustrated overall.
I have a goal I was trying to reach but I really don't know if I will make it. I have 17 days as of today to reach that goal and I am what seems like 100,000 miles away. I'm currently sitting at 211lbs. My goal by January 9th was to hit 200lbs. We are leaving for a cruise and I wated to look the best I have ever looked in many many years. I wanted to walk on that deck proudly with my shirt off and not feel self conscious for once. I really have doubts that I can shed 11 pounds in 17 days. I know we see it all the time on Biggest Loser of double digit weight loss in 1 week but let's face it...those people are MORBIDLY obese. They are on the verge of their bodies saying "You know what buddy? I'm done with this, let's take a permanent nap." You got a lot to lose you lose a lot. I honestly didn't think I would reach this point for at least another 15lbs and I would understand at that point because I would be on the threshold of my "ideal" weight.
I take my suppliments, I eat clean, I work my ass off in the gym....or do I? Am I short changing myself? Am I really not pushing myself as hard as I could? I walk out sweaty, tired and a battered shell of my earler self. Is that enough? I really don't know. I have been on the same workout routine for about 4-5 months now and this week I decided to switch things up. that's what I hear all the other Brolys say. My previous workout was as follows:
Monday- Chest
Tuesday-Shoulders
Wednesday-Legs
Thursday-Back
Friday-Arms
Sunday-Circuit
Hmmmmm, that's 6 days a week on average. Is it possible I'm overtraining? Not giving my body enough time to recover? A quick Google search says the following about overtraining:
"Overtraining is the result of giving your body more work or stress than it can handle. Overtraining occurs when a person experiences stress and physical trauma from exercise faster than their body can repair the damage"
"...excessive exercise may lead to overtraining, but don't forget to consider other stresses, such as family or work commitments."
"Remember, stress is stress, whether it's a physical, mental or emotional stress, it still has the same effect on your health and well-being."
I don't have many of the physical signs of overtraining but let's look at the psychological signs and symptoms:
Fatigued, tired, drained, lack of energy
Reduced ability to concentrate
Apathy or no motivation
Irritability
Anxiety
Depression
Headaches
Insomnia
Inability to relax
Twitchy, fidgety or jittery
The ones in bold describe me to a T. But what throws me are the physical signs:
Elevated resting pulse / heart rate
Frequent minor infections
Increased susceptibility to colds and flu's
Increases in minor injuries
Chronic muscle soreness or joint pain
Exhaustion
Lethargy
Weight loss
Appetite loss
Insatiable thirst or dehydration
Intolerance to exercise
Decreased performance
Delayed recovery from exercise
I don't have near as many. Now I'll be honest...I can be lazy but in all seriousness this is exactly how I feel. Everytime I walk in the gym I have the mindset that I'm gonna bust my ass and make the workout count. I may be doing myself a disservice. I recently took some time off from the gym for about a week. It felt good. Stress levels dropped, I didn't feel rushed and I enjoyed the gym time not hanging over my head every day. At the same time I felt like I was doing something very wrong by not going. What the hell is wrong with me? I like the time off the gym but I mentally feel like crap for not going. It felt like I "no call, no showed" for work.
I'm so confused and feel like a writer with mental block, a director with no direction or a stripper who can't seem to take her clothes off. Either way I will continure pounding away as always and doing what I can to keep things up.
At this point I have no choice because I won't go back to what I used to look like.
Current weight: 211lbs
Monday, December 14, 2009
Taking the "Health" out of Healthcare
I may not have mentioned it but I have a Culinary degree. I went to school to learn how to cook and I loved every minute of it. They taught us all the traditional techniques of cooking and how everything tastes better with butter and pork fat. You know what? They are absolutely correct. The sweet delicacies of whole butter, heavy on the sweet cream, and ANYTHING cooked in pork fat is just to die for. We experienced, tasted and cooked things most of us had never heard of. We learned how to hold a knife, peel potatoes, small dice things very quickly and learned all those other cool things you see your favorite Celebrity Sell-Out...er...ummm...Chef do on TV. Oh yea...we also leaned Nutritional cooking. Let me see....we spent...ummm...well I guess it was about 6 weeks leaning the basics of healthy cooking. The other 6 weeks were lumped into another form of cooking that may or may not have been related to nutritional cooking. That's my point: I don't remember a damn thing from that class. Possibly because it was clouded by 47 weeks of other stuff that had nothing to do with it. American Regional, World Cuisine, Baking and Pastries, Advanced Pastries 2, Asian Cuisine, Garde Manger...all of those classes took a full 11 weeks to complete. 11 fucking weeks learning how to make Pates and force meats and "insert your meat choice here" en croute but they can't spend more than 6 weeks on teaching us to cook healthy? Did they think we would upset the Culinary Gods that reside in France? Did they think it was like spitting on the grave of every pioneer Chef that came before them? Or did they just simply not care enough about it to put anymore effort than necessary? My bet is the latter.
So that 2 years I spent learning the intricate nature of pork fat and lard eventually landed me a job at a hospital. For the sake of internet prowlers I will leave the name of the facility out but I will say that we are the flagship location in our division and have close to a 700 bed capacity. Our enployees range from all types of lyfestyles and cultres. The kitchen is staffedwith cooks that have many years of combined experience and produce about 1200 meals each day for our patients. The cafeteria serves 500-1000 meals a day to guests and employees. As an employee the cafeteria is my main source of nourishment considering I get a measly 30 minutes for lunch and they discourage going off-site for food. That is what we are going to focus on today...the Cafeteria.
Anytime you go to a hospital, and I hope it's NOT where you spend a rockin' Friday night, one of the biggest questions is "Where is the cafeteria?" For some reason guests are visiting loved ones during a time when they need food. Maybe its the comfort aspect or nervous nature of people with hospitals and needing food. Let me tell ya we got comfort food galore in ours and our employees are showing signs they are damned comfy with what they are eating. Let me take you through a walk through of the cafeteria:
There are two entrances and depending on the time of day depends on what you see. This morning I walked in to do my rounds and I was warmly greeted with the sight of this:
MMMmmmmmmm, donuts, and bagels the size of your head and croissants bigger than a softball filled with enough butter to clog the toilet. Oh yea, those round glazed heavenly bodies are Krispy Kreme we have brought in on a dialy basis. Let's keep walking and maybe we will find something tasty. OK, here is the serving line. Standard Cafeteria style service with everything pre-made and sitting in steam wells. Have a look:
Yea, baby, soak that in. Dive into that sausage gravy FROM A CAN, frozen biscuits, pork sausage, BACON, and just for good measure there is a little bit of turkey bacon and some hard boiled eggs that have been sitting there for AT LEAST 2 hours. Maybe I'll find some fruit instead:
Pretty sad huh? BUT WAIT!! THERE'S MORE!!! Sort of...
How the hell can fruit, of all things, be an after thought in a Healthcare cafeteria?? It's actually an easy answer: The employees won't buy it so they don't putmuch out therefore there is not that much wasted. *slaps head* Of course, the fatties that work here won't get a piece of fruit for breakfast when they can get sausage gravy FROM A CAN!! Nothing tickles the tonge and dances on the senses like a ladel of the mecca of gastronomic creations GRAVY FROM A CAN!!
On second thought I've lost my appetite. Maybe I'll just get something to drink.
Jesus Christ on a cracker??!! Was I majically teleported to a QT or Race Trac?? Oh, wait...LOL, it's the same place. Breathe it in folks because not only do we feed our employees fatty foods and unhealthy fried stuff but we give them the vehicle for everlasting longevity in their departments....CAFFEINE AND SUGAR!! I have counted on numerous occasions no less than the following:
6 different "Coke" labeled sodas (ie. Diet, Lime, Cherry...etc)
8 different energy drink flavors over 3 different companies
5 different Dr Pepper labled products
5 different kinds of bottled tea
3 Sprite products
Big Red AND Big Blue. (WTF is Big Blue?)
And the grandaddy winner of all drinks...Tahitian Treat. This one 16oz bottle packs more sugar and calories than ANY other carbonated soda. 220 calories. Guess what? We can't keep that shit in stock. Keep in mind this is JUST the softdrink coolers. To my immediate right is another cooler stocked full of sugary bottled juice and another cooler full of over priced Odwalla drinks AND ANOTHER cooler of various drinks like Starbucks bottle fraps, Nestle Quik and junk like that.
If you haven't figured it out by now it is VERY difficult to find something healthy or at least semi-healthy to eat. Yes, we do have a salad bar and it is quite good but it takes a HUGE toll on my colon and digestive system to eat salad every single day. I can do it and have done it before but I would rather not.
Look, here's the point of all this: I work in a facility that should be the pinnacle of healthy environment. No fried shit, no trans-fat, no refined carbs and no junk food should be the words we scream to everyone. We should march to the beat of the dieticians and heed their words. We should be afraid of the very things that we treat our patients for. Diabetes, heart disease, obesity, gastric bypass should be the words that make us tremble in fear. We should look at ourselves and then look at our plates and then think real hard if we need that extra chicken tender or that extra hamburger patty. It's a sad state of affairs when the people who are treating your Father, Brother, Mother, Sister, Wife or Husband and they are the ones who need help as much as they do.
Moral of this story: Bring your lunch. At least you know who made it and can make your own choices.
Current weight: 209lbs.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
What is "Broly"
I'm not even sure why I'm starting this blog. It was an idea I had a few days ago and thought maybe I should put down on "paper" some of the stuff I went through, currently dealing with and will eventually go through as someone who is trying to look better and feel better about himself.
You might be asking yourself "What the HELL is 'Broly'"? Honestly, I couldn't tell you exactly where the term came from. It's used in a loving manner by a bunch of e-meatheads to basically throw some bromance out to a guy who looks good and has been working his ass off. Sort of an electronic hetero hug. Props, daps, knuck...you get the idea.
So anyway, I have been wanting to attain this status for some time. I worked out on and off over the last 3 years or so but nothing really serious. I had some things holding me back. I had a marriage I was miserable in, I was woking in an industry that wasn't conducive to working out and basically had no goals pertaining to my health. I was 260lbs at my heaviest. I lookeded like this guy:
Except I'm white and I don't wear boxers...and I have a better camera. You get the point. The one thing we do share is the vapid expression on our face. I had the same face...sad, lifeless, disheartened and had a general feeling like nothing could change. I can tell you what made me that way. You know before I even say anything. Yup......FAST FOOD!!
The Hut, The Clown, The Box, The Cabana, The Bueno, Chicken on a bun, chicken nuggets, fries, sodas, tacos, pizza....it was all so convenient and so EFFING tasty. My absolute favorite lunch while working int the IT field was a 20 piece chicken McNugget from Mickey Ds, Super Sized fries and 1 liter Dr Pepper and I would finish THE WHOLE DAMN THING!!! Let's digress for a second and analyze my favorite lunch:
Chicken Nuggets (20 piece):
950 calories
540 calories from FAT
2000mg sodium (that is 2 full grams for the lesser math inclined)
55g Carbs
Supersized Fries:
610 calories
261 calories from FAT
29 total fat grams
390mg sodium
77g carbs
1 Liter Dr Pepper
400 calories
140mg sodium
108g carbs from sugar
FOR A GRAND TOTAL OF:
1960 Calories (801 calories from fat)
2530mg sodium
240g carbs
Essentially in 1 (one) meal I had consumed about 100 calories UNDER maintenance for the whole day for someone of my height, age and activity level....and I didn't even mention breakfast or dinner. Truth be told there were days I consumed well over 6000 calories and who knows how many carbs or fat grams. Who cares right? Once or twice wont hurt, right? BULLSHIT! It didn't hurt when I was shoveling crap into my pie hole but I was lethargic afterward and didn't care about anything. I was high as a kite. Who needs drugs, man, I got pizza and nuggets, and soda and all the junk that makes us feel good. Let me tell you something...the hurt was internal and it hurt a lot. My self esteem was in the basement and I hated doing things in general. I was content on the couch watching TV or being on the internet. I hated shopping for clothes cause I didn't want to have to go through the agony of trying to fit in a size 40 pant when I knew I needed 42. I didn't want to buy ANOTHER XXL shirt. They charge more for that size, ya know?
I tried to justify things like I'm sure most do. I had a wife at the time and she was "happy with who I was and not what I looked like." That helped a little but I always knew I needed to do something about the way I looked. The days rolled on and on and before you know it I'm 260lbs. I was a svelt 185 in high school and a marching band fool. Shirt off marching barefoot on the blacktop in summer band and rockin' faces off with my trumpet. Simply amazing how life gets in the way.
So what's the point of this blog? It's a quest. A never ending, constantly changing and frustration inducing quest. I'll keep you informed about my progress, post my workouts, parts of my diet, pictures and possibly some recipes. You'll hear me bitch and complain about gym crap, my diet and various other observations. Maybe you'll learn something. Maybe you'll be inspired. Maybe it will prompt you to look at yourself and see if you can do better. Either way put down your fries and pay attention cause I'm on a non-stop train to Brolyville.
Current weight 210lbs.
You might be asking yourself "What the HELL is 'Broly'"? Honestly, I couldn't tell you exactly where the term came from. It's used in a loving manner by a bunch of e-meatheads to basically throw some bromance out to a guy who looks good and has been working his ass off. Sort of an electronic hetero hug. Props, daps, knuck...you get the idea.
So anyway, I have been wanting to attain this status for some time. I worked out on and off over the last 3 years or so but nothing really serious. I had some things holding me back. I had a marriage I was miserable in, I was woking in an industry that wasn't conducive to working out and basically had no goals pertaining to my health. I was 260lbs at my heaviest. I lookeded like this guy:
Except I'm white and I don't wear boxers...and I have a better camera. You get the point. The one thing we do share is the vapid expression on our face. I had the same face...sad, lifeless, disheartened and had a general feeling like nothing could change. I can tell you what made me that way. You know before I even say anything. Yup......FAST FOOD!!
The Hut, The Clown, The Box, The Cabana, The Bueno, Chicken on a bun, chicken nuggets, fries, sodas, tacos, pizza....it was all so convenient and so EFFING tasty. My absolute favorite lunch while working int the IT field was a 20 piece chicken McNugget from Mickey Ds, Super Sized fries and 1 liter Dr Pepper and I would finish THE WHOLE DAMN THING!!! Let's digress for a second and analyze my favorite lunch:
Chicken Nuggets (20 piece):
950 calories
540 calories from FAT
2000mg sodium (that is 2 full grams for the lesser math inclined)
55g Carbs
Supersized Fries:
610 calories
261 calories from FAT
29 total fat grams
390mg sodium
77g carbs
1 Liter Dr Pepper
400 calories
140mg sodium
108g carbs from sugar
FOR A GRAND TOTAL OF:
1960 Calories (801 calories from fat)
2530mg sodium
240g carbs
Essentially in 1 (one) meal I had consumed about 100 calories UNDER maintenance for the whole day for someone of my height, age and activity level....and I didn't even mention breakfast or dinner. Truth be told there were days I consumed well over 6000 calories and who knows how many carbs or fat grams. Who cares right? Once or twice wont hurt, right? BULLSHIT! It didn't hurt when I was shoveling crap into my pie hole but I was lethargic afterward and didn't care about anything. I was high as a kite. Who needs drugs, man, I got pizza and nuggets, and soda and all the junk that makes us feel good. Let me tell you something...the hurt was internal and it hurt a lot. My self esteem was in the basement and I hated doing things in general. I was content on the couch watching TV or being on the internet. I hated shopping for clothes cause I didn't want to have to go through the agony of trying to fit in a size 40 pant when I knew I needed 42. I didn't want to buy ANOTHER XXL shirt. They charge more for that size, ya know?
I tried to justify things like I'm sure most do. I had a wife at the time and she was "happy with who I was and not what I looked like." That helped a little but I always knew I needed to do something about the way I looked. The days rolled on and on and before you know it I'm 260lbs. I was a svelt 185 in high school and a marching band fool. Shirt off marching barefoot on the blacktop in summer band and rockin' faces off with my trumpet. Simply amazing how life gets in the way.
So what's the point of this blog? It's a quest. A never ending, constantly changing and frustration inducing quest. I'll keep you informed about my progress, post my workouts, parts of my diet, pictures and possibly some recipes. You'll hear me bitch and complain about gym crap, my diet and various other observations. Maybe you'll learn something. Maybe you'll be inspired. Maybe it will prompt you to look at yourself and see if you can do better. Either way put down your fries and pay attention cause I'm on a non-stop train to Brolyville.
Current weight 210lbs.
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